Unspeakable
by gothina234
Summary: Very long one shot. Morgan is forced to do the unspeakable to his best friend, Reid, in order to save his family. Both struggle with what happened and wonder if they will ever be able to move on. Non-con and abuse. Warning inside. Rated M for a reason.


**Hey everyone, here is a one shot that just sort of popped into my head and I don't know if this has been done before but when I have an idea, I have to get it out. THIS IS RATED M FOR A REASON! I didn't intend it to be graphic and I still think most other stories are more graphic than mine.  
**

**Warning - Features non-con and abuse.**

**You have been warned. I was actually debating about posting this but a friend convinced me to put it up.  
**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan groaned as he heard his cellphone begin to ring out, its loud shrill bringing him out of his deep slumber. Grabbing the phone, he pressed the answer button and put it to his ear. "Hello," he sighed as his body craved more sleep. A frown came to his face when he heard crying come down the phone.

A shaky voice began to speak, one he recognized immediately. "D-Derek, it's y-your mother."

He became fully alert at the sound of his mother crying. "Mom, what's wrong?"

There was a rustle before another voice spoke. "Sorry Derek," an unknown voice spoke. "Your mother is a little tied up, as are your two darling sisters. Want to say hello ladies?"

Fear wrapped its cold hands around his heart as he heard his sisters call his name.

"You son of a bitch, let them go!"

"Why would I let them go so soon when there is work to be done. I'm going to step out of the room for a while."

Morgan listened as the cries from his family grew fainter and then disappeared. He closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. "What do you want? Please, just let them go."

"If you want your family to stay safe and alive, you will do exactly what I tell you, without hesitation or argument. There will be severe punishments for your family if you disobey even one word I say. How far are you willing to go to keep your family safe? What are you willing to do?"

"I'll do anything, just don't hurt them," he pleaded. He lost his dad when he was young, he didn't want to lose the ones he loved now. He couldn't lose them.

"There is a package in your car, you'll find an earpiece, a pill and a roll of duct tape. Make your way to Dr Reid's apartment. We're going to have a little fun."

* * *

Reid finished wiping his bookshelf, he couldn't believe how dusty he had let them get. He felt soothed by the wonderful melody playing on his record player, there was no better sound than vinyl. He turned around as a knock came at his door. He turned down the record player and opened the door. "Hey, Morgan. What are you doing here?"

He noticed Morgan's expression. "You don't look so good, is every okay?"

"Can I come in?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, sure," Reid nodded before opening his door. "Come in, do you want a drink or anything?"

Morgan walked in, Reid closed the door behind him. He barely had his hand off the handle when a hand grabbed his neck and threw him into a nearby bookcase, he grunted and moaned as his body collided with the book case and as books hit his body as they fell, he looked up and managed to compose his thoughts long enough to realize that Morgan had thrown him into the bookcase.

"What are you doing?" Reid gasped as he tried to pull himself up. He hit a pile of books as a fist came down and punched him in the face three times. Tears began to fall as his friend beat him. "M-Morgan, please stop. P-Please."

A yelp of pain escaped him as Morgan delivered a brutal kick to his stomach. Hands grabbed his t-shirt and dragged him across floor, he was so focused on regaining the ability to breathe properly that he barely had the focus or strength to fight against his wrists being taped together behind his back.

"Stop it!" Reid yelled. He tried to yell again but failed as duct tape got slammed over his mouth. He screamed into the tape as he lost all sense of control. He laid there and closed his eyes, wondering what he had done to Morgan to deserve this. Rough hands came to the hem of his pyjama trousers and his boxers, he felt his breathing pick up as he realized what was about to happen. The material of boxers almost burned as they were ripped down.

None of his pleas came through the tape as Morgan's straddled him. He could barely see in front of him with all the tears in his eyes.

"Nothing but something to bend over a table," Morgan said, his voice cruel and foreign to Reid's ears.

Reid let out a muffled screamed as it began

* * *

Morgan felt pure revulsion at himself as he began to rape his best friend, the pill had made him able but he wanted to shoot himself for what he was doing. He heard the unsub's voice in his ear, telling him what to do. The bastard had placed a camera in Reid's apartment when they were away on their last case. He could hear and see everything. He had wanted nothing more than to warn his friend, to plead for his help in saving his family but he had been reduced to this.

"Go faster, Derek," the unsub's voice ordered inside his ear. "Pin down his head too, I hate seeing it bob up and down."

He thought about his sisters and his mother, knowing that if he didn't obey, they'd be killed. He increased his speed during the assault and was almost sick as he heard Reid sobbing and screaming. He pinned Reid's head and continued. His friend was shaking beneath him and crying hysterically. He saw blood and used his free hand to cover his mouth as he felt the urge to throw up again.

"Now slower," the voice ordered. "I want him to know it's you, I want to burn it into his memory. Slow but hard."

As he slowed, he realized that Reid was pulled back into awareness. Every time he moved hard, he heard Reid grunt and sob. After a minute he was ordered to go faster. Another set of muffled screams filled the room, Morgan had no idea how much longer it lasted but he felt himself climax after a while. He held Reid still and saw the revulsion and fear in his best friend's eyes as he finished.

"Stay on top for a minute," the unsub commanded. "Oh, look at him, he's nothing but a snivelling mess. Pat his head and say good boy."

Taking a shaky breath, he patted Reid's hair, feeling his heart rip in two when Reid whimpered and tensed at his touch. "Good boy."

Morgan felt the effects of the pill wear off. "Put yourself away, Derek, and then cut him loose. Leave and I'll tell you where your family is. Don't say a single word to him."

* * *

He felt silent tears fall down his cheek as he listened to the man whom had once been his friend, now his rapist, get up. He didn't even move his arms as they fell to the side, the tape being cut by Morgan from around his mouth and wrists. Footsteps went to the door and Morgan left his apartment. He lost all sense of control and felt something break inside of him. He sobbed and stayed on the floor for a few minutes, he then summoned the strength to sit up. Pain ripped through him as he did, he cried out before taking a deep breath and pulling up his boxers and trousers. Reid moaned as he dragged himself to the door, he slid the lock back over before collapsing against the door. Every time that he tried to think, flashes of what had just happened dominated his mind. He slowly dragged himself to the bathroom. He looked back and saw a long trail of smeared blood on the floor.

* * *

Morgan raced towards the bridge near Reid's house. As he came up to it, he saw his mother and sisters handcuffed to the rail. "Mom! Desiree! Sarah!"

He skidded to his knees and hugged them all in on big hug. He came away and looked them all over. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"He just kept us tied up," Desiree cried gently. Morgan let out a yell when he realized the cuffs wouldn't budge. He pulled out his phone, relieved that unsub had activated it again and called Hotch.

_"Morgan, it's three in the morning,"_ Hotch yawned.

"Hotch, I need you to go to Reid's apartment," Morgan said frantically. "A man had my family, h-he forced me. Oh god, I hurt him. I need police sent to the bridge near Reid's apartment, my mom and sisters are handcuffed to it."

* * *

Hotch curbed his car as he pulled up outside of Reid's apartment building, he raced inside and up the stairs. He tried to get through the door but found it locked. He pulled up his leg and smashed into it. It took three times before the door finally gave.

"Oh God," he gasped as he saw the trail of blood, he followed it to the bathroom where he found a beaten and bloody Reid in the corner, he knelt in front of him and didn't know what to do for the first time in his life.

"Hotch," Reid groaned as his eyes fluttered. "It's not...stopping."

Reid fell forward into Hotch's arms, he caught the genius and widened his eyes as he realised what Reid meant. A puddle of blood lay where Reid had been sitting, he heard another set of footsteps come up into the apartment. Two paramedics came around the corner.

"Sir, you need to step back and let us do our job," one of them said. Hotch lowered Reid to the floor and let the paramedics take over.

"Did you do this?" the other paramedic asked.

"No, I didn't," Hotch snapped. "I'm his boss and I was called here, there was a hostage situation with another member of my team's family. I don't know the full story yet, I was just told to rush here. His name is Spencer Reid and he's allergic to carbenicillin."

"Spencer," the first paramedic called as he shined a light in Reid's eyes. "Spencer, can you hear me?"

Reid remained unresponsive.

"We need to get him to the hospital, he's been raped and he's losing too much blood," the second paramedic shook his head.

"Get the backboard from the rig, now!"

* * *

Morgan sat in the hospital, the doctors had taken his family to make sure they were fine and unhurt. He had arrived and was waiting for Reid to arrive. He watched as a group of nurses and a doctor rushed out of the entrance. A sob escaped his lips when he saw Reid being wheeled into the hospital, there was blood all over the gurney and there was an oxygen mask over his face with IV's everywhere.

"Name is Spencer Reid, he's 33, heavy blood loss with laboured breathing. No response to any stimuli."

Hotch marched in and grabbed Morgan by the arms, he pulled him into a small room. "What did you do?"

Morgan shook his head and cried heavily, he leaned against the wall and slid down till he hit the floor. "H-he had my mom and my sisters, he put a camera in my car, my house and he's got a camera in Reid's apartment, he watched me from my house to Reid's apartment. He was going to kill them if I didn't obey him." Morgan pulled out the earpiece from his pocket and handed it over. "He made me rape Reid, he said he'd kill my family if I disobeyed him in any way. I'm disgusting and I'm a monster."

Morgan shook before throwing out his fist and hitting the wall. "He was so scared and I couldn't tell him anything, I couldn't save him. He screamed into the tape and I c-couldn't help him. I'm no better than Buford."

Hotch grabbed Morgan's arms. "Don't you ever say that."

"I forced Reid into an act that I know is painful and an act that will scar him for the rest of his life, I'm supposed to protect him. I had to choose between my family and him. I don't want to lose any of them. Reid will never forgive or understand. I pinned him to the floor, the bastard made me say such horrible things to him as I forced myself on him. He screamed and he cried, the look in his eyes was just pure fear," Morgan coughed as he began to get more upset. "Hotch, arrest me."

"I'm not arresting you till I talk with Reid, the team is already working on tracking the bastard who took your family and made you do this."

"I'm a monster, I committed an unspeakable crime, arrest me now!"

"No! I won't arrest you, not unless Reid tells me to. You were put in a situation that not even I would know what to do. Wait for Reid to wake up and let me talk to him, let me explain everything. If he wants to press charges, I'll arrest you."

Morgan bowed his head and looked like a scared child hiding from the bogeyman, Hotch came forward and put his arms around his colleague. "Everything will be okay."

* * *

Reid felt light but somehow heavy at the same time, the weight from his mind was beginning to lift but his limbs were heavy, he didn't have the strength to lift them. He sluggishly opened his eyes to a bright light, he blinked before licking his dry lips, it was then he realised he could only blink one eye. The other was swollen and painful. He saw a blurry figure by the side of his bed, his vision cleared and Hotch became clear in his sight.

"Hotch," he rasped before coughing. Hotch brought a straw to Reid's lips and let him drink some water. He brought the cup away and put it down on the side.

"Don't try and move too much, you're in a bad way but you'll make a full recovery," Hotch said gently. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, weak and confused."

"Do you know what happened to you?"

Reid closed his eyes and remembered everything that had happened. Every punch, every cruel word and every moment of pain, he opened his eyes. "I do."

"Who did this to you?" Hotch asked, wanting to know what Reid's answer would be.

"I-It was some guy, I-I don't know who it was," Reid lied.

"Why would you protect him after what he did?" Hotch sighed. "Reid, we know that Morgan did this to you, he's the one that called me and told me to rush to help you."

"Help me," Reid began to cry, tears leaking quickly from his good eye and slowly from his swollen one. "H-He d-did this to me, he held me down and raped me. I-I begged him to stop."

Reid hiccuped and coughed as he became more and more upset. "I thought he was my f-friend."

Hotch rose from his chair and sat on the edge of the bed, feeling the father part of him coming out, he held out his arms. "May I?"

Reid looked at him for a moment before nodding, Hotch carefully brought the bed up and then brought him into his arms. He rocked back and forth gently to try to calm Reid but for twenty minutes, only sobs and tears filled the room. Reid came away from him and laid back against the pillows. Hotch knew he had to get everything cleared up.

"Reid, Morgan is waiting outside to come in but he isn't going to come in unless you want him to. You've been out about a day and a lot has happened. On the night he attacked you, he got a call from a man we now know as Aaron Cavender. The day before he kidnapped Morgan's mother and sisters and brought them to Virginia where he held them hostage. He had Morgan under constant surveillance, he had even hid a camera in your apartment. He also disabled Morgan's phone to prevent him from sending any messages for help. Cavender forced him to put in an earpiece and threatened Morgan's family if he disobeyed in any way. Morgan was forced into hurting you to save his family, he was ordered to rape you and had to follow instructions during the rape. I need you to understand that this situation is difficult. I also need to know if you want Morgan arrested for what he did."

"Wait," Reid said before blinking his eye sluggishly. "He was forced into raping me. Is his family safe?"

"The unsub promised to let them go once Morgan had finished with you, he handcuffed them to a rail on the bridge near your house. They're fine, shaken but fine."

Reid didn't know how to process what he had been told, his best friend had raped him under threat, he remembered Fran, Desiree and Sarah from his visits down to their house. He was relieved that they were fine but he still struggled with the memories of what had happened. He could still feel the cold surface of his floor rubbing against his cheek as his body had moved without his consent.

"I don't want you to arrest him," Reid said before letting out a small moan. "I'm on pain medication."

"You need it," Hotch nodded.

"I don't really care that I'm on it, Hotch. I don't know how to feel about what has happened. Tell Morgan to go home, I don't think I'm ready to see him. I won't be for some time. I know he was forced to do it but he came into my home, threw me into my bookcase and violated me. I just can't face him."

"Is there anyone you want to come and stay with you? I have to go and sort everything out, the unsub is still out there. Don't worry, there is a protection detail on the hospital and on your room."

"I just want be alone," Reid said stoically before looking away. "Can you please just go? I need some time."

"Pushing us away won't help."

"Just go," he whispered as he stared at the wall. Hotch got up and stood by the edge of the bed. He put his hand on Reid's hands only for Reid to rip his away.

"I'll be back soon, just don't let this bastard win. Morgan feels like he's become Carl Buford and he's struggling. I know you are struggling too and that you need time. Don't let this destroy you."

Reid barely registered Hotch leaving the room, he brought up his hands and let out a pained screech, he couldn't stop himself shaking. His lips absorbed his tears and he tasted his own weakness on them. He turned to his side, crying further at the flare of pain it caused. He pressed his face into the pillow to muffle his cries. He knew he was weak, he didn't need the entire hospital knowing it too.

* * *

_Up, down, up, down, he cried as the man whom had sworn to protect him so many times, brutalized him. _

_**Morgan, stop! For the love of god, stop!**_

_**It hurts...**_

_**Why? Why? Why? Why?**_

_All these things he wanted to scream but the tape over his mouth stopped all his words._

_Reality pulled him back as Morgan slowed and then moved painfully, he took more time between each horrible movement. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't leave his mind or this moment. A fresh scream ripped up his throat but hit the tape as Morgan went faster again._

_**SOMEBODY HELP ME...**_

* * *

His eyes shot open to find himself still in the hospital, he glanced down at the IV in his hand, he pulled it out and threw it to the ground before moving to the other one and pulling that out too. He needed to get out of the hospital, he needed to be outside. He bit back a yelp as he rose up in the bed and brought his legs around. Using the bedside table, he got up on shaky feet.

"Reid, what are you doing?" he heard Garcia gasp, he looked to the door and saw that she had come in.

"I want to leave," he grunted. "I need air and I don't want to stay here any more. I want my things."

"I'll have your things brought to you," she said as she put her hand on his arm. "Come back to bed."

"Don't tell me what to do," Reid yelled. "I want control, I want to go home but I can't because he's ruined it."

She tried to touch him again but he hit away her hands. "Don't touch me, just get out!"

"Reid," a voice came from the door. His eyes widened when he stared at the door, Morgan looked back at him with eyes full of pain and sadness. Reid began to move for the bathroom but fell to the floor when the pain became too much. Morgan rushed to him.

"Go away," Reid whimpered as he tried to crawl away.

Morgan couldn't bear this any more, he pulled Reid into a hug and held him tightly. Reid panicked and began to buck and whimper. Not letting his friend go, he began to cry.

"Reid, listen to me," he pleaded. "I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry, I didn't want to do it but he was going to kill them if I didn't do it. I lost my dad and I couldn't lose them too. You have no idea how much I wanted to tell you to run. Nothing I said was my own, I raped you and I feel disgusting and evil for what I did. I can't bear the look in your eyes though. I will beg you for forgiveness but I don't expect you to give it. Please, just talk to me. I don't care what you do to me, I deserve everything that you want to do. Why didn't you send me to jail? I don't understand. Kid, I'm sorry."

Reid brought himself away and looked into Morgan's eyes.

He lashed out and began to pound his fists weakly into Morgan's chest. "You hurt me," he growled through tears. "You son of a bitch, I just wanted you to stop."

Reid collapsed back against the wall. "I know y-you had no choice but neither did I, m-my best friend just turned on me and I was so scared, you r-raped me and I don't know what to do. I-I understand why you did it but I-I can't process anything. You're supposed to protect me."

Morgan scooted across the floor and sat next to Reid, he put his arm around Reid and held him, feeling the genius tense beneath his touch. "I'm here, don't push me away because I need to help you. I hurt you and now I need to help you."

Garcia joined them, her mascara running down her cheeks, she sat against the wall and then used the back of her hand to stroke Reid's cheek. She put her other arm around him and spoke gently. "It'll be okay, we can fight through this. It's okay to cry."

"Why did this happen?" Reid whimpered. "Why did he choose Morgan to do this to me?"

* * *

The why came six days later when they entered an apartment to find Aaron Cavender dead on his bed with a soft smile to his face, a bottle of drugs had ended his life by his own intent. After digging further, they found that Cavender had once been the victim of a rape by his best friend and had reported the crime but had not been able to identify his attacker as he had worn a mask. It turned out that Cavender's friend was responsible for a series of rapes months before he attacked his friend. They didn't know how Cavender had found out it was his friend who had hurt him. Reid had sent the local police a profile before the rape occured to find the unsub but they had ignored it. Cavender blamed Reid for sending the profile and had thought Reid had sent the police after the wrong man. His rapist disappeared a week after the attack and was declared missing. They didn't need to be profilers to know that Cavender had murdered the man. He left a note declaring that now Reid knew how it felt.

Reid had chosen to stay with Rossi as he preferred all the extra security and isolation, Garcia walked through the house to find him in the large garden, dipping his legs in the pool. His face was swollen but he had regained some vision in his bad eye. He had not seen Morgan since the hospital. "Hey, baby boy."

"Hey, Garcia," he said gently.

"How are you feeling today?" she asked.

He bit his lip before answering. "It still hurts when I sit down and walk, the doctor said I'll be like this for a while. I'm really tired too."

"How bad are the nightmares?"

Reid wiped his hand over his face. "Very bad, Morgan starts to hurt me but it never stops till I wake up."

He hesitated for a moment before talking again. "How is he?"

"He's in Chicago with his family, he's struggling with what he did and I'm worried about him. Fran called and told me that he's drinking."

"I want to tell him that I know he had no choice but it's hard to say he did the right thing because of how horrific that right thing was. He had to save his family, I know he wouldn't have survived losing them. I have never felt so violated in my life and it's hard because Morgan did this to me. I don't want him drinking or turning into something that will corrupt all the good he's done. Garcia, what do you think I should do?"

"Sweetie, I can't tell you what to think or what to do, this situation is a difficult one. I want my two boys back together, happy and playing planks on each other and it scares me to death when I think about losing both of you. I just don't want this one moment to define you both. Don't let Cavender win. Don't erase ten years of friendship."

Garcia scooted over and sat next to him, she brought him close and hugged him, she kissed the top of his head before sighing. "I don't know the kind of fear you felt when it happened so I can't begin to understand what you went through. I don't expect yours or his recovery to be a short one but I do want you to do it together. Counseling can help."

"I want my friend back," Reid said shakily before pressing his lips together. "I just don't know if things can ever go back to how they were."

* * *

**A few days later**

Morgan walked into Rossi's house, his head hurt from having a few too many drinks the night before but he was sober and ready to talk with Reid. He turned the corner to see Reid sat on the couch, a Transformers blanket over him. He didn't miss the way Reid's eyes widened or the way he fisted the blanket in his hand. Garcia and Rossi were down the hall, both knew this was just between Reid and Morgan.

"Interesting blanket," Morgan said, breaking the silence.

Reid bit his lip nervously. "Henry came by, he thinks I fell down some stairs, he gave me his favorite blanket because he thinks I'll get better quicker with it."

They stared at each other for a minute before Reid decided things needed to move on. "We need to come to terms with what happened. Y-You raped me but didn't have a choice and I'm still struggling to come to terms with happened. You're trying to drink it away."

"Who told you?"

"Garcia," Reid answered. "She's worried and so is your family. I don't want you to try and drink this problem away because it won't go away like that."

"How else is it supposed to go away?" Morgan raised his voice. "I am a monster for what I did and I don't know how you can even sit here with me. You screamed and you cried and I could do nothing as that bastard laughed in my ear. I saw your revulsion when it finished."

Reid closed his eyes and felt his breathing pick up as he remembered.

_He closed his eyes and tensed, he felt something else inside and knew he was marked forever, he opened his eyes and felt a hand pat his head, he couldn't help the whimper as he was touched._

_"Good boy."_

He opened his eyes again and reached to his side, he grabbed the glass of water and took a few deep gulps.

"This is what I mean," Morgan said. "You're struggling because I'm here."

"I'm struggling because I need my friend back but I know it's going to be a difficult journey for us to go back to how it was. We're both victims, Morgan. I don't want one night of Cavender's games to ruin the ten years of friendship we've had and the friendship we can have in the future. You know how I'm feeling, you went through being forced into something you didn't want. P-Please, just stay and we can fix this. I need a friend, not a ghost."

"Can I sit next to you?" Morgan asked. Reid nodded so he sat down, surprised when Reid leaned against him slowly. He swiftly wrapped his arms around his best friend. He let the tears fall. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"I know," Reid sniffed as he cried himself.

* * *

**A year and a half later**

Reid struggled to take the turkey out of the oven, it caught on the side. "Morgan, turkey disaster is imminent, help."

Morgan rushed into the room and brought the turkey out with ease after putting on mitts, he placed it on the side. "Reid, that looks delicious."

"I just need to add a few more things and then we're all set to have thanksgiving dinner, that was heavier than I thought."

Morgan looked at Reid and knew that every hardship since Cavender had been worth it to keep his best friend, they had both attended counselling together and after a while, it got easier to forget what had happened. They had both agreed to forget the past and look to the future. Even the nightmares they both had were decreasing.

"I know we're supposed to wait till we're at the table," Morgan began. "I just want to say I'm thankful for you staying as my best friend."

Reid looked over and smiled. "I'm thankful that we didn't let Cavender win and that we're still best friends. Forget the past and look to the future. Now, if we don't get this turkey in there, your family is going start tapping their forks."

Morgan carried the turkey in where his mother and sisters were seated, they all gasped at how lovely the turkey looked. Reid took his seat and even though he wasn't a man of God, he joined them in saying grace.

Reid looked up as Morgan finished and smiled. "Dig in!"

**Please review**


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